Shelley Ramsey, grief, name, Joseph

It’s Okay to Say His Name

Dear Family & Friends,

It’s okay to say his name. It’s okay to ask me who my son was and how I live with his absence. I’m even okay with talking about the day that he died and those horrific years following his death.

Please don’t worry that you’re delving into a sacred territory by asking about him.

I miss hearing his name and would love to share everything you might want to know about him. Mostly, I want to talk about him because I have a compelling need to convey how furiously God loved me during my son’s life – and death.

If you ask about him, I might cry because I long to see him, drink in the scent that was uniquely his, and hold him in my arms. But mostly, I will smile from the inside out because God loaned that beautiful boy to me for seventeen short but wonderful years.

I carry him with me every moment of every day. His memory branded on my heart and mind is as much a part of me as my fingerprints.  When you mention him, you aren’t reminding me of him. He’s already woven into my every thought. When you say his name, you affirm that he’ll always be my son, and I’ll always be his mama.

And to think: God carries me every moment of every day, too.  My name, sins and all, is stamped on His heart. Yours is, too.