Hey Grieving Mom,
You wish Mother’s Day didn’t exist, don’t you? You have buried a precious child, and your arms ache to hold him. Of all days, you especially want him with you on Mother’s Day. You want to celebrate that you carried, birthed, and nurtured him. You want to bask in who he has become, not recall who he was. You long to see him alive and whole and want to inhale the scent that was only his. I know. I get that. Forget the cards, flowers, and chocolate. The gift you long for is to have him walk through the door, throw his arms around you, and say as only he could say, “Hi, Mom.”
I know your heart bleeds, and your empty arms throb. I am acutely aware that there is no greater sorrow in all the earth than that of losing a child. I understand why you might avoid public Mother’s Day celebrations and instead visit the cemetery to see your son’s or daughter’s name written because no one speaks it anymore. After lovingly planting a kiss on the cold stone that is his grave, you gingerly trace each letter of his sweet name with your finger, right? Say his name bravely and boldly today, Mom.
You are extraordinarily grateful that your surviving children breathe and wake up every morning yet live in constant fear that they’ll will be taken too soon. And if you are with them, you hug them extra tight as you plead with God to keep them safe and healthy.
Brave, mama, you are not going crazy. You are courageous. And you are going to be okay. You’ve survived the unimaginable and managed to crawl out of bed yet again today. You are spectacular. Never forget that you will always be his mom.
And you know what? It’s okay to skip church this Mother’s Day and to dine at a restaurant out-of-town to avoid awkward greetings and conversations. Likewise, cry a little harder, hide out at home, or be as public as you want to be. Today is your Mother’s Day. You do what you need.
Since your precious child is not here to tell you, please allow me: Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! You are wonderful! You are brave! You are beautiful! You are loved!
And Mom, please allow me to pray this prayer for you.
Father,
We mamas who have buried our precious children hurt. Please comfort us. Soothe this piercing pain that rears its ugly head and tries to render us helpless.
Thank you for holding us in our grief. Thank you for sitting with us in our sorrow.
Tell our children that we love and miss them.
Help us to be grateful women.
Lord, we give our surviving children back to you. Don’t let us impose our grief and fears upon them. Let them become the people You want them to be.
Help us to flee bitterness and anger. Fill us with forgiveness and love.
Show us what you have for us to do while we live on this side of heaven, and give us the strength to do it well.
Amen.
p.s. Dear Newly Bereaved Mom and The Sisterhood of Grieving Moms